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"Jo theek samajho wo de dena"( Pay Whatever You Feel Like): This is the oldest ruse in use. Porters, taxi and auto rickshaw drivers mostly employ it. Simply put, the guy whose services you are going to use asks you to pay whatever you feel is right, after he has done your job. Now this in itself is not bad but your concept of what is right and his concept will never be the same, and in the end you may end up paying much more after a lot of haggling. You will need all your will power to insist to a porter or a taxi driver what is the exact amount you need to pay him after the service has been delivered. While travelling to a new place, it is best to inquire from your fellow passengers what would be the charge to get to your hotel or how much you ought to pay a porter.
Why Don't You Eat Some Of Our Food/Biscuits/Soft Drink etc: Do not accept any food/god's prasadam/ drinks from a stranger. This is a simple drug and mug operation. You eat/drink/imbibe whatever is offered (suitably spiked with a drug). Then you go to sleep. The fellow then relieves you of your possessions. You wake up in a strange place with a distinct feeling of having been had. Then the feeling turns to certainty and your holiday just got spoilt - thank you!
"Just look, no buy": You will be urged to enter shops from all corners in both explicit and less obvious ways -- your driver, guide, even the seemingly innocent bystander offering assistance, are almost all operating on the ubiquitous commission system, and whatever they make on the deal is added to the quoted price. Note that to avoid this kind of hassle, look for the fixed-rate shops or those that mark their wares with prices. But beware of government emporiums with fixed rates -- these are sadly often outrageously expensive.
"We look; we look": This response from a rickshaw-wallah or driver usually means that the person either doesn't know where you've asked him to take you, or you'll end up somewhere with a similar name but nothing else to recommend it (Hotel Chandra, for example, rather than Hotel Chand). Pre book your accommodations whenever you can so that you don't have to deal with touts and hawkers when you arrive. And be aware that a hotel or guesthouse that is successful will often have a rival opening within the year with a confusingly similar name.
"So where are you from, good gentleman?" (or more commonly, "Coming from?"): You will be asked this often, so prepare yourself. One of the possible reasons Indians kick-start conversations this way is that it may in the past have indicated caste or social position; whatever the reason, engage in the opener -- it's far preferable to living in a five-star hotel cocoon.
"Hashish, taxi, guide, young girls?": In the well-traveled parts of India, you will be inundated with offers of assistance; again, the best response is to doggedly desist in what is essentially a game of endurance, and certainly ignore those unsolicited offers that are illicit -- these can carry a hefty penalty, including a lengthy jail sentence.
"Cof-fay, chai; cof-fay, chai; cof-fay, chai?": This incessant call given by the chai-wallah wandering the corridors of your train will put to rest any romantic notions about the relaxation of train travel. Note that you will be most comfortable aboard the overnight Rajdhani Express which connects all the major cities, while the best daytime train is the Shatabdi Express (book Chair Class). Time allowing, you should definitely book a "toy train" to the hill stations of Shimla and Darjeeling -- the latter approach is so spectacular it has been named a World Heritage Site.
The Pregnant Woman Act: This act comes with many variations like the "need a kidney transplant” act, “going blind” act etc. The modus operandi is to apprise you of the difficult medical situation the con artist is in and the lack of money, which is making things more difficult for him. Then an appeal to your sense of sympathy is made in order to make you part with the moolah in your pocket. You may be surprised to see the same person practicing his/her art at the same location for months. With a large population of the kind that exists in India these con men and women do find a sucker every day of the year. That's how corny the whole thing is!
The Battle of the Haggle: Sure, things are cheap to begin with and you may feel silly haggling over a few rupees, but keep in mind that if you're given a verbal quote for an unmarked item, it's probably twice the realistic asking price. To haggle effectively, make a counter-offer under half price, and don't get emotional. Protests and adamant assertions ("This is less than it cost me to buy!") will follow. Stick to your guns until you've reached a price you can live with. Remember that once the haggle is on, a challenge has been initiated, and it's fun to regard your opponent's act of salesmanship as an artistic endeavor. Let your guard slip, and he will empty your wallet. Take into account the disposition and situation of the merchant; you don't want to haggle a genuinely poor man into deeper poverty! And if you've been taken (and we all have), see it as a small contribution to a family that lives on a great deal less than you do.
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